Honor and Respect Reciprocal

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Honor and Respect Reciprocal

Moms, with Dads right there in the thick of it, give birth, to tiny little beings who require constant care and attention. Some of us thrive as we care for our babies. Sadly, some wish their babies had never been born. Some of us are excited about sharing our knowledge and skills with our children, teaching them the wonderful, challenging, exciting things about the world in which we live. Other parents patiently--or not so patiently--wait out the time until they can send their children to school and get them out of their way. And the children know how their parents feel about them, even if it is never spoken.

I remember asking my mother once long ago, "Am I pretty?" She replied, "Every mama duck thinks her babies are the prettiest and the best." Immediately I was crushed. I thought, but did not say, "Oh, no! I have a face only a mother could love! I must be the ugliest girl who was ever born!"

Years later, when I shared this with my mother, she said she wished I would have said something at the time because that wasn't what she meant at all. I began to realize then that we don't know how our children are going to interpret things that we say. And maybe I need to give a little extra attention to our conversations and time together to make sure we understand each other, respect each other, love each other, and thereby glorify God.

In Deuteronomy 21:18-21, I read: If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate and a drunkard." Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

What makes a child rebel?

At work one day some of us were talking. (That's what good reporters-editors do--talk a lot.) I said, "I am more or less a pacifist." Sharon looked at me and said, "You? A pacifist? Cathy, you are a rebel. You can't deny it." I was surprised that I was perceived to be a rebel when I thought I was on the whimpy side. But think about the term "rebel" for a minute. Weren't our nation's forefathers considered by Great Britain to be rebels because they wanted freedom from British rule? And wasn't Jesus considered a rebel by the leaders of his time, a threat to their earthly kingdom when Jesus' concerns were for his heavenly kingdom?

In the New Testament I found this: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath; but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (King James Version)

When our oldest children, now 26 and 23, were little we took them to the church basement every Sunday morning and directed them to their classrooms. And after class, junior church convened at "Joyville," also in the church basement. My husband and I sometimes were scheduled as "characters" or to help in other ways to present the program that taught children about God's ways in terms they could understand and to which they could relate and apply to their lives. We were pleased that the girls were getting the religious training in the Lord.

We were talking one day. It was one of those "we never told you because you would have gotten mad but since it's so long ago you can't do anything about it" moments. They giggled and said when we sent them to their Sunday school classes they didn't go to class but hid in the restroom until it was time for the worship services. First I shook my head. I had so enjoyed Sunday school when I was a kid, learning so much with the patience of our teacher, Mr. Kodrich and others who taught my classes as I grew up. Didn't they understand what they were missing out on? It was so many years later, there was no point in being embarrassed. Then I asked myself how I could be such a failure in sharing the importance of my beliefs with my children.

Or were they being a little rebellious, feeling their ways through their realities, not sure about themselves or confident in their thinking or decisions? And did I say things that I meant one way but they interpreted another completely different way? When I am rebellious, why am I rebelling? Is it anger because I feel I am not getting the respect I deserve? And anger, doesn't it come from hurt? And doesn't hurt make me more angry, which makes me more determined not to do what someone else wants me to do? Isn't that rebellion? And if they push hard enough, don't I tend to do what they DON'T want me to do or not do what they DO want me to do?

Mark 10:13-15: And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, "Suffer the children to come unto me and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

Verily I say unto you, whoseover shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. (King James Version)

I often ask God to "make my eyes to see, my ears to hear and my heart to understand." Parents need these tools to raise their children to be the way they should be to God's glory.

Peace to you and your children, and the love of God.

About this contributor:
Written by Cathy Brownfield